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Let’s put out that torch people! Here’s how!
By Lawrence | April 6, 2008
Watching the news today, it was interesting to see two shining, symbolic beacons of freedom working at complete cross purposes. In the red corner, weighing in at 11 incarnations, the Dalai Lama! In the blue corner, fighting out of 3000 years of history, from Athens Greece, the eternal Olympic flame!
Now we all know that if the torch goes out, the Olympics will have to be canceled. That means that China will be left with a very embarrassing stadium bill, and all that work to de-smog the air of Beijing will have been for naught. So in the spirit of bringing China’s economic hopes and dreams to a standstill, here is the absolute, foolproof method for putting out that damned torch!
In London today, one man clearly had hold of it. He had gotten past the cordon of cops, then the inner layer of protectors, running right up to the bearer herself and grabbing hold of the beacon. He had it in his hands! Now, if that man would have just had a blanket…
a nice, flame retardant blanket or similar piece of cloth. Something that is not going to go up in flames itself, but smothers flames like a good cloth should. Surely, it would have taken little extra effort for this brave soul, accepting certain arrest/police beating, to carry a blanket on his person…
unless, of course, enough souls in the world don’t really want the torch to go out. In that case, a protective psychic shield of sorts could end up surrounding the torch, preventing perpetrators from using simple, effective means for extinguishing. Perhaps the world’s souls are of two minds- they do want it to go out, but also, they don’t. It is a confusing thing. I mean, there are so many memories with the flame, Muhammad Ali quivering from Parkinsons but bravely lighting it in Atlanta jumps to mind for me. Plus there is that whole thousands of years of tradition and history. But then again, the Dalai Lama…
Well, Paris is up next. If ever there were a group who could find the vive la verve to douse the flame…I think it is the French. Maybe some greasy fries in mayonnaise would do the trick.
I promised my wife I would mention her idea: a giant parachute landing on the torch from the sky. I tried to explain the multiple problematic aspects to this plan, but she really wants this crazy parachute idea ejected out there into the ether. I think it’s really dumb, but there you have it.
My wife and I do agree that it is time people stand up for something that stands for freedom. And in this case, the Dalai Lama wins out. It is time those smug Chinese government officials stopped getting away with violating the civil rights of whomever they please, then lying through their teeth and congratulating themselves for it.
And the same definitely goes for a certain illegal, unelected junta that has gripped the soul of America like a poltergeist. Just to be fair about it.
Topics: Politics |
April 6th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
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